Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

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I can count

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Why do some people hesitate to say 'I love you' even after their partners have said it first? How can one interpret this behavior from their loved ones?

I understand how hurricane paths work

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I have complete contempt for fakery

How can a native English speaker say "it was nice talking to you" in French without using that exact phrase?

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

Why is the band Nickelback unliked so much?

I see through liars

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Have you ever been spanked in front of a group of people?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Drinking this amount of water per day helps control blood sugar levels in people with diabetes - Earth.com

I don’t buy bullshit

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

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I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

What kind of lights would you like to use for your home decor?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Do women like men who have slept with many women?

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

Have you experimented with bestiality?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I can read

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why does my vagina and around my butthole itch? I don't have weird discharge and I'm still a virgin.

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

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I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I actually pay taxes

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability